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Why Savings Accounts Suck | The Problem with Jon Stewart | Apple TV+ - YouTube
Channel: The Problem With Jon Stewart
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What was it like when your savings account
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gave you 5%
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interest as opposed to what I get,
which I think is
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a $15 fee
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for every time I bounce a check?
-Yes.
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It costs you money now
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to save your money.
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-Yes.
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-If you're going to save money,
you can give it to the bank.
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They loan it out to people
and they make money on it.
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But it costs you for the privilege of
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letting them loan out your money
so that they can make money.
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But I- this is, I learned this episode
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that you used to be able
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to save your money and make money.
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I didn't even know that was an option.
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-You would put your m...
I remember I was...
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-This is what I was looking for.
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-28 years old...
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Bananas...
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Cost...
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They would pay you to eat bananas!
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[LAUGHTER]
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I remember I was working standup,
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and I started getting college gigs.
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The college gigs- so if you work standup
in the city, you probably know this now.
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If you work during the week,
you'd get ten bucks
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and a little bit of hummus,
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lil bit of cab fare,
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lil bit of hummus.
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And if you worked the weekend,
you’d get $40.
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Sometimes they would bump it up to $50.
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Depending...
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So you can imagine.
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You know, you'd work those gigs downtown
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and then you take the subway uptown
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and you'd blow it all on... food.
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-Hmm.
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Yeah, definitely not food.
-Food. Mhmm.
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But if you went-
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food and by “food,” I mean
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Cocaine!
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-Yes.
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We used to eat...
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There was a wonderful
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French cocaine place.
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If you worked a college, though,
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one gig,
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you could get 500 bucks.
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750 bucks, maybe 1000 bucks.
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-College!
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And all you had to do
is go to like, a rathskeller
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at Roger Williams College, right?
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So you do- there was a convention
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you did called a NACA, I think.
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You’d perform,
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wait for the southern colleges
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to walk out.
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And then try and pick up
some of Carrot Top’s overflow.
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-Yeah, yeah.
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So the first few colleges I did,
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I like, got for the
first time, money to save.
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And so I went and I bought,
in a bank,
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I got the savings account
and I bought a CD.
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Mhmm.
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I've heard of those
-That’s some confidence.
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You weren't gonna touch the money for a while.
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It was a...
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playable C... It wasn't...
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-Ah okay. It wasn’t... Got it.
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- And...
- But it was like,
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like you say, the whole idea of it
was, if I wait six months,
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I'm not going to have $1,000,
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I'm gonna have $1,080.
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Yeah, but like, that's not possible anymore.
-Right.
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-Yeah.
-Right!
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Which I didn't know!
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Your money's
just sitting in a savings account.
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And... While other people
use your money to make money
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because I'm not responsible
with my own money, I guess
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to not have it in a savings account.
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Like, I thought savings account- that was my bar.
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All you got to do is save money, and now...
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It’s completely impossible!
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-The reason that your savings account
interest rate is so low
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is because they're literally trying
to incentivize you to invest.
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-Yes.
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By taking away the incentive to save.
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It's like zero interest.
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There's no other option
in this world than stocks.
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-Yeah.
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My bank's savings account interest rate
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looks like a blood alcohol level.
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It’s like point...
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But it's it's not going to jail
because it's not that high.
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-Yeah.
-There we go.
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So when you go into your bank,
do they say,
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“Blow into this”?
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-Right.
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-All right, you can...
And then whatever it registered.
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That's what they give you.
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