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The Problem With Venmo And Your Taxes - YouTube
Channel: Funny Or Die
[1]
- Okay Alex, I have your 1099's here
[4]
and your itemized deductions.
[6]
I just have a few questions
about some of these
[11]
Venmo charges.
[12]
(cheery music)
[18]
- I didn't realize you
were gonna go through
[19]
all my charges.
[21]
They're all business
related, so we don't really
[23]
need to go through all of them.
[24]
- I'm actually obligated
by the AICPA to be
[26]
as thorough as possible.
[28]
You don't want me to go to jail or
[30]
lose my practice, now do ya?
[32]
- No.
[33]
- Oh good.
[34]
So, I see you paid your
friend Aaron several times
[37]
for heart emoji, wine glass emoji.
[39]
- Right, that was a business dinner.
[41]
Ya know, it was a
"lovely" business dinner.
[43]
- Okay.
[44]
- Sorry, I should've
written it out in words.
[46]
- Yeah.
[47]
So you paid Brian for Hep-A.
[50]
- Oh, the food was really
bad, so we joked about
[54]
getting Hep-A.
[57]
It was also a business dinner.
[60]
- On March 1st, you paid Jordy
[63]
for butt stuff.
[64]
- Uh, no,
[66]
I think he paid me for that.
[67]
- Jordy paid you for butt stuff?
[69]
- No sorry, it wasn't actually butt stuff.
[71]
It was just lunch but
he was just being funny.
[76]
- How about anal?
[77]
- Can I see that?
[78]
- Yep.
[81]
- Oh,
[82]
this is just my improv coach.
[84]
Sorry, I was just-
[86]
- Being funny?
[88]
- Right.
[89]
- Okay, you also paid him
for peach emoji stuff?
[93]
- Ya know what?
[93]
We don't have to do this.
We could just-
[94]
I'll just take the standard deduction.
[96]
- Oh no, no, no.
[97]
You're gonna owe a lot
more if you don't itemize.
[99]
- Really?
[100]
- Yep.
[101]
- Okay, well it's almost over right?
[103]
- Nope.
[104]
So, you paid Justin for eggplant emoji,
[107]
water droplets emoji, eggplant emoji,
[110]
more water droplets emoji.
[111]
Just let me finish.
[113]
Ah, Pregnant lady emoji, hot dog emoji,
[116]
arrow sign into chocolate donut emoji,
[118]
water emoji, cherry emoji followed by more
[122]
water droplets.
[125]
Maybe you and Justin took a pregnant lady
[128]
to the farmer's market on a rainy day.
[134]
For business.
[135]
- Those are all writing meetings.
[137]
- Okay, great.
[139]
So, how about
[140]
knee deep in cum?
[143]
- Uh, yeah.
[143]
- Full service anal.
[144]
- I don't know what that is.
[146]
- Rectal reconstructive surgery.
[147]
- Mmhmm, that was a breakfast.
[148]
- Kiddie porn.
[150]
- That was business.
[151]
- Okay.
[152]
Butt waxing.
[153]
- What's the date on that?
[154]
- June 1st.
[155]
- Oh, uh, nope,
[157]
that was um,
[158]
that really happened.
[160]
- Okay, um...
[163]
Camel toe replacement,
also a business expense?
[165]
- Correct.
[166]
You know what, I will just put these
[168]
in a spreadsheet with all the reasons,
[170]
the real reasons so you
don't have to decipher.
[172]
- No, no, no, that's okay.
[173]
I think I understand these next ones.
[174]
It's a bunch of sushi emojis.
[176]
- No, uh,
[178]
I'm sorry, that shouldn't be in there,
[180]
um,
[181]
Sushi means
[183]
sex.
[184]
- Oh!
[186]
Wow!
[187]
You have a lot of em.
[188]
- Oh, okay.
[189]
You know what, I'll hold onto those ones.
[191]
- Oh, okay.
[194]
- [Alex] Okay, so we're done?
[195]
- Yep.
[196]
- Oh okay.
[197]
- My fee is
[199]
$450
[201]
and you can actually Venmo me.
[204]
- Really?
[204]
- Yeah just look for a request from
[206]
@hungrycunt.
[209]
- Excuse me?
[210]
(intense music)
[214]
- At
[216]
hungry
[218]
cunt.
[221]
It's my side business.
[223]
- Okay.
[225]
Thank you.
[227]
- Thank you.
[240]
(sniffing)
[243]
Oh God.
[245]
Needed it
[247]
(intense music)
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