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Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator Review | Universal Donor Edition™ - YouTube
Channel: unknown
[0]
Hey hey people, Sseth here.
[1]
Welcome to a little game I got
gifted a couple months prior.
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I'll be real.
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I don't pay for games.
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I just put on my LED cat ear headset,
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and get everybody to be my discord daddy.
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this is the best investment in 2022.
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this doesn't just pay you dividends.
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it pays you salaries
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Other people salaries.
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Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with
the chinese tar factories that make these.
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That would be lame.
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on the other hand,
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If you a latin American or Middle Eastern
militia looking to expand your services
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Hit me up.
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45 second integration doesn't sound like much,
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but I assure you that's a
lot of stolen AMV footage,
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that I can crossfade into footage
of your men wearing turbans.
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I can also do a full dedicated video,
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where I can quickly summarize the fine
points of your proposed benevolent regime.
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Namely, the peaceful transition of power.
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I got given this by a dude who, originally...
[52]
I assumed to be deaf.
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Until, one day he said he said he wanted to VC.
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And I said no.
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no you can't.
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your kind doesn't have that capability.
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Well, now I feel stupid and he thinks I'm racist.
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Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator
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is a glimpse into the future.
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Where nothing is yours,
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and everything is a commodity
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including yourself
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that's the joke.
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It's actually right now.
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Yeah, i'm pretty sure the former patriarch of the Rotschild family,
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Who received 9 heart transplants during his life,
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– really cared - to make sure that every
single one of them were ethically sourced
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from the nearest Malaysian child.
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So – what's the difference?
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the difference is that in this game I
can publicly list a little boy's heart...
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on the stock exchange,
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so that we can speculate against
the value of little Joey's heart.
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it is a unique, perishable good.
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which is already hedged against
hyperinflation owing to the fact...
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that there's only one.
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To begin – you have to start the game.
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To begin the game you have
to click start inside the game.
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After picking a persona, you begin.
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as stated by the intro, you're
above the morality of anybody else.
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everybody has them,
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everybody needs them,
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and everybody wants them.
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["Organs."]
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Which means... they need you.
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you're an organ trader, and this is your universe.
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everybody else just lives in it.
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But - you're still at the mercy of someone else.
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you're not free.
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you're indentured.
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everything you've been given...
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is borrowed.
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and if you don't play nice and
give your handler what he wants...
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he's going to remind you
that everything ever given...
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can be... taken away.
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one piece at a time.
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What's it called when you ask for something?
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Suggestion.
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what's it called when you ask for something,
while pointing a gun at their head?
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Persuasion.
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Mentaur is going to repeatedly
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(((Persuade you)))
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to choose life over death,
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by forcing you to take non-negotiable
contracts, which by their very nature
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are designed to make you broke.
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This is the equivalent of going to a
jewelry store with an invoice for 1 dollar
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in exchange for everything inside.
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But - we'll deal with him later.
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You begin the game, and you'll
notice - its very calm and quiet.
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Because... that's not the game.
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When you push that red button.
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The market opens up for exactly 2 minutes.
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In that time you gotta go fast,
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and you gotta go hard.
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120 seconds of pure stress, that's the game.
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But this is the only start.
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Early on, contracts are your bread and butter.
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you take them,
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you fulfill their requirements,
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and you get paid.
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with payment - comes money.
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with reliability – comes reputation.
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with reputation... comes problems.
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because the bigger you get,
the more they start to notice.
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namely, everyone else.
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they're smarter and faster than you.
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they're unpredictable, bipolar and obsessed.
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but most of all, they're richer than you.
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imagine a teenage girl whose bloodstream
is nothing but cocaine and benzos.
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armed with a single corporate
credit card which has an overdraft...
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of 700 trillion.
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this is your competition.
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Good luck.
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if you're too slow, they're going to take it.
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if you're too fast, you'll buy the wrong piece.
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because they bought something a millisecond earlier,
shifting the position of each item.
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If they need it, they'll take it.
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if you need it, they'll take
it anyway just to spite you.
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So, how are you meant to survive?
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At the start you get offered a little
training course on high speed organ trading.
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I sincerely recommend you take this.
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Is there are a reward at the end?
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A little tangible reward for my
simplified coomer erectus brain?
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No.
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You learn how to read barcodes.
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Every organ on the exchange has a serial number.
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This tells you everything about the
organ in the shortest span of time.
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I'll break this down block by block.
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Organ code.
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Size.
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Condition.
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Bloodtype.
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Rarity.
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And special properties.
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Why do these matter?
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Because as you get more reputation,
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your clients... get more demanding.
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It's no longer a stomach.
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It's a large stomach.
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It's no longer any pair of lungs,
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its a pair with the same, AB negative blood type.
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And I'm not gonna settle for a shitty thyroid.
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Get me one that's absolutely perfect, pristine.
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Get me that one in a million mythical
thyroid that shoots out thyroxine so fast,
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you're gonna live at like 2x playback speed.
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until your heart explodes.
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Not like I care, I got a replacement waiting.
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It's inside - somebody else.
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Now that you can read, you can trade - real fast.
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It's a market as diverse as your clientele.
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Contracts include, but not limited to:
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Medical supplies.
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Ship repair.
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Warlord training.
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I saw some fucked up shit and popped my eyes.
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I need a replacement.
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I am currently depressed.
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I need a new brain.
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My favourite Vtuber told me to
get in on this pump and dump.
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I can't lose.
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Would you be interested in resurrecting a dead god,
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and ending life in this universe as we know it?
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Please let me know.
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I can't pay very much.
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Necromancy work is not unionized.
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It's been the subject of
union busting for years now.
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Your options are plentiful.
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Now, we have to talk about the soundtrack.
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Because it's the best soundtrack i've ever heard.
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Because - it's not just a soundtrack.
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It's layered.
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Like a cake.
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Every single track is layered
by the menu you're currently on.
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So in the process of high speed organ transfer
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you automatically create a melody just by trading.
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Due to the nature of the
soundtrack, it doesn't actually exist.
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But the guy who made it remixed the whole thing
into an experimental companion soundtrack.
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I first recommend you play the
game - and then - give it a listen.
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I don't have a fitting modern word for this.
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So I asked everybody younger for an appropriate expression
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I could use to convey my enthusiasm for the music.
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Here goes.
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It's bussin.
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I really like it.
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I'll put a link in the description below.
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Later on, you get access to organ stocks.
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Because, really, why even buy organs
when you can simply speculate.
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It's a perfect simulation of stock investment.
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Because markets – don't make sense.
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There are no rules to the organ exchange,
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but there is one principle – which I've
taken directly from Rotschild himself:
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'Be greedy, when others are cautious.'
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'Be cautious, when others are greedy.'
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To put it simply, everything look a little too good?
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Sell that shit homie.
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Market correction is coming, and once it does,
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buy the dip and repeat.
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Until - you become a multi-millionaire.
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And then, just like me, you're
gonna be fined several times in a row
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on fraudulent charges
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by corrupt officials
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and lose the game.
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I'm not even joking.
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Blink twice and its game over.
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That's how quickly – it all goes.
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That's the ADHD experience of life - every day.
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Wake up.
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Scream.
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And Die.
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Except here its a lot more dramatic,
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and I'm currently competing for
kidneys with my arch nemesis.
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Who is of course – a dog.
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so I don't really know where to take this metaphor.
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Eventually, you're also gonna get a better cargo hold.
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You'll figure this out on your own, but
essentially, organs interact with other organs.
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Your cargo hold is alive, it's an
inverted body you can graft organs to.
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I see nothing wrong about this.
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So, instead of relying exclusively on contracts,
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you could also buy a high value
organ like an appendix or a pherogut
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in very poor condition for very little money,
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strap them to a bunch of healthy hearts,
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pump 'em full of blood,
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and flip the newly rejuvenated
meat for massive profit.
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Finally, some contracts are special.
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You'll recognize them by the border.
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Pursuing them leads to different endings.
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Remember our handler?
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Well, eventually – someone takes notice.
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And offers to take the toxicity
out of your relationship.
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By luring mentaur out into the open
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and turning him
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into a flesh painting...
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that cannot die.
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That's a good ending, by the way.
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One of the bad endings is
when you actually try to help.
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I'm not gonna spoil what it is but here's a hint.
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One of the tracks in this game is called
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'a galaxy of children who've only seen red'.
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There's a bunch of endings,
and I think there's 10 in total.
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The current copy might have less,
but i'm playing an early test build
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because I have a profound
relationship with the lord.
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Or - because I talk to the developer.+
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the lord – he simply watches – as I trip
myself repeatedly and blame everybody else.
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P.S if you're slow and decrepit and past your prime,
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which for a man is about...
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14 years of age.
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there is an accessibility
option to make the game slower.
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Now, if he only added hotkeys for
accepting, fulfilling and deleting contracts
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My life...
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would still be painful, but slightly easier.
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I actually talked to him about this, and
unfortunately, it can't be done that easily.
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Just like Super Mario 64 was originally
going to release with pregnancy mode enabled,
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at the end of the day, its
a limitation of the engine.
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Final score.
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I give Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator
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an... impractical out of 10.
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I love this game,
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but classic organ transplantation will never be
a viable method of long term organ replacement.
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I'm sorry, but that's an immunological reality.
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and tissue from anyone else,
unless they're an identical twin
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will eventually result in tissue rejection.
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Yes, I'm aware we can take immunosuppressants,
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so we can kill them with a tumor instead.
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The only real way forward is
understanding stem cell differentiation
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to grow your own tissue that will not be rejected.
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Space Warlord Organ Trading simulator.
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there's a reason – I like it so much.
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because its the perfect human duality,
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you get what you give.
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you sell pieces of everybody else.
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but the taller you stand, the harder you fall.
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And one day...
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It's all gonna come crashing down.
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you're gonna lose your money,
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you're gonna lose your life,
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and when you're dead, they're gonna chop you up
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and sell your pieces.
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because in this case, the sum of the parts...
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really is greater than the whole.
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ultimately the organ trader
really is selling one thing.
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Himself.
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It's a nice little game, it's not too long
but that's really a matter of perspective.
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You don't know how short your life is.
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I thoroughly recommend it.
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Oh yeah by the way you can mod this game.
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I messed around and its
pretty easy to add new organs.
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ironically the first organ I added,
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is usually the first to be taken away.
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Where can I buy this game?
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Everywhere.
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It's on every platform, on every store.
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Except the chinese store.
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Hopefully by the time this comes
out there's a discount on steam.
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Of course, you can also get a 100% discount.
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Depending on your life circumstance,
I even recommend it.
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And we both – know exactly – what i'm talking about.
[643]
Robbing an ATM at 2 in the mornin-
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