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Is Investing Gambling? | The Problem With Jon Stewart Behind The Scenes | Apple TV+ - YouTube
Channel: The Problem With Jon Stewart
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Do you guys have your money invested?
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[LAUGHTER]
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I love that we're like...
-Yeah
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I mean, kind of I have a 401K.
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That didn't exist.
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-What?
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-So 401K, IRA, like, it didn't exist.
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Back in the...
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days of yore.
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You had savings accounts
and you had Social Security.
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-Right.
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But there was no IRA.
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There was no 401K.
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None of that shit existed.
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Well, the good news
is for me, it still doesn't.
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-Pensions...
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It's like I'm living in the old times.
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I'm an old soul in that sense.
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I do have some money in the stock market,
but like nothing that is ever going to
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matter for me.
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And I also lost money on GameStop
when that whole thing happened.
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-You did?
-Did you really?
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Yeah! Because I don't have-
I don't have like the nerves of steel
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that you need for stocks. Like, remember,
they're like “Diamond hands.
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You put it in, you don't touch it.” And
I was like, “That's what I'm gonna do.
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I'm gonna put some money
in. I'm willing to lose all of it.”
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It went down that day
and I immediately sold it at a loss.
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You’re like, “I can’t deal with this
volatility”
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Yeah, I really couldn't.
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Like, I just saw the money going down. I was like,
“Get out, get out!”
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I mean, luckily, it was digital,
because if not, it would have been
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the most embarrassing call.
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Because you would have been like,
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“Buy it” and that I would have hung up
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and then I’d be like, “Sell
it! Sell! Sell all of it!”
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-See that, the digital aspect
of it, means it doesn't seem
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real, it's like gambling, like I...
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-It’s a game.
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-I remember gambling like you
go to a casino and you would gamble.
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And now people are just like
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“Boop!”
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There's like two kinds of people
who are in the stock market.
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There's like one person who, like my mom,
who invests in it for her retirement
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and she's like, stable and whatever.
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And then there's the Robinhood
kind of people who like, do it for
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high-risk shit and like,
I don't really, like, I've been taught
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to do the former, which is like, invest
because it's your retirement or whatever.
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And the other part of it
just seems complex to me,
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but I understand why people do it
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if it looks like a fucking video game.
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The app for Robinhood
is basically like a video game, right?
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Oh, a really shitty one.
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You know, you're like, “Buy.”
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-Right, right.
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How many lives do you get?
-Yeah, exactly.
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My real one, which sucks!
-Do you save a princess?
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-Wait! The money's gone
and I didn't get a new life.
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They do give you confetti though,
when you buy.
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I heard.
-They got rid of the confetti so
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- They had to.
- it doesn't look like too much of a game.
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-Really?
-Yeah.
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-They got rid of the confetti?
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Yeah, I'm sorry.
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When you bought a stock,
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all the ghosts turned white
and you eat as many dots as you can,
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as you want.
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-It’s getting too on brand!
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And you have to beat the final boss.
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It's just Jamie Dimon with ten arms.
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[GROWLS]
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-Atticus was like...
-“I’m fucking out of here!”
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-Yeah, I was waiting for Atticus to go
like, “Fuck, this.”
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Is the actionable,
like, thing for the average human
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to just not invest in the stock
market. Is that what we're saying?
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The actionable thing for the average
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human is to put money into index funds
and like, not deal with it.
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-Right.
And just.
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- Don't fall for the volatility or the bullshit.
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-I’m sorry, what’d you say there?
so you put your money...
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-It’s crazy to me
because, like, growing up in Turkey,
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my mom never told me
like, “Generational wealth!” like, you know,
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“Stock market!” like, “Invest!”
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And then I got here and everyone was like,
“How about your savings account?”
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Like, “how about, like, the stock market?”
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And I was like, okay, like,
I guess I'll do it.
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But like, it kind of sucks
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that I have to be the first one
in my family to build generational wealth.
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Or I said, marry rich, which
my grandma would love but...
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What do you think is more likely?
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So, you're gonna win the stock market
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or we hit up a Yankees game?
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You know.
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First of all, it sucks. I'm
a Red Sox fan. But...
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-I feel like I, between learning
the stock market and like coming up
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with an invention for Shark Tank,
I feel like my odds are better being like.
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I bet I'll come up with a good idea
faster than I can like...
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get any money in stocks.
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The stock market is a bunch
of people that have MBAs,
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and from the moment they wake up
to the moment they go to sleep,
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they're inventing new and interesting
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ways to suck money out of your money.
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You're- did you ever play
Three-card Monte?
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-Yes.
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-So it's a bunch of people
that are in on a game
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and then you walk up and go,
“I got this.”
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“The ace is right under there.
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I saw it.
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He doesn't realize the card is nicked.
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It's right --
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What the fuck?”
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Like, you're not.
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They're counting on you,
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not knowing what you're doing.
So that they c-
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your money is fueling their adventure.
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Something that I didn't quite fully
compute until I was talking to you is...
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Come on, do you want to get
up? You're ruining the shot.
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You're ruining the shot!
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You have to get up.
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-Don't shame him.
-I'm sorry.
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-He wants to sit with Jon.
Come on.
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-Aww
-Go on!
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There you go, buddy.
-Ayy.
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There you go, buddy.
- Ridiculous.
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-Aww, look at you guys!
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-Jon, we should have put you in a matching
sweater with Atticus.
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-My God!
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