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Carolina Impact, Season 7: Episode 8 - The Sandwich Generation - YouTube
Channel: WTVIPBSCLT
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- [Narrator] This is
production of of PBS Charlotte.
[6]
- [Todd] If you hang out
with Gus and Carroll Walton
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on just about any
Saturday morning,
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you'll understand why
Carroll says the nonstop pace
[13]
is more like
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- [Carroll] Controlled chaos!
[15]
I guess right here.
[17]
- [Todd] They start the
day by eating breakfast
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at Tryon House on East
Exmore Street in Charlotte.
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Gus says for the kids,
it's already a tradition.
[24]
- During the week I'll say
eggs and grits, eggs and grits!
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And we're like no,
that's Saturday.
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- [Todd] The boys
are very young.
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Wade is three and a half,
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and twins Wesley and
Johnny are just two.
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So after breakfast,
they of course have to
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let off a little steam.
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- We get our wiggles
out after breakfast.
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(laughs)
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- [Todd] Hop back in the van.
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- What are you doing?
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- [Gus] I'm taking your picture.
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- [Todd] And then head
to their next stop.
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The grocery store.
[51]
(upbeat music)
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Then it's back home.
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- [Gus] You wanna
take the bananas?
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- [Todd] To put
the groceries away
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- [Gus] Here you
can carry this one.
[60]
- [Todd] And squeeze
in a quick break.
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- Wade helps me keep an
eye on the other ones,
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don't you bud?
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- [Todd] All of this back
and forth before noon.
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And the trips are not over yet.
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- [Carroll] It's a lot
of coming and going
[72]
on a Saturday morning,
isn't it boys?
[75]
- Driving around with three
children under the age
[77]
of five to breakfast,
then the grocery store,
[80]
and then back home
for a little playtime
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will by anyone's definition
be a busy Saturday morning,
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but believe it or
not, Carroll says the
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most challenging stop is
the one that comes next.
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(traffic)
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- [Carroll] Where's Coach,
do you see Coach on the wall
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where's his picture?
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Can you find Coach? Where is he?
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- [Kid] Right there!
- [Carroll] Right there!
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- [Kid] That's Coach!
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- [Todd] Coach is Carroll's dad.
[102]
And every Saturday
morning after breakfast
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and all of those errands,
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the family stops by to visit him
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at his retirement care
facility, Waltonwood Cotswold
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in Charlotte.
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For the boys it's everything.
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After all, what child wouldn't
love a visit with granddad?
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Sitting outside, eating
ice cream or wearing it.
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And playing in the fountain.
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For Carroll, it's so much more.
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- It's everything.
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Our lives are crazy in terms
of schedule during the week,
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and it's hard to find
times to get together.
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- [Todd] But life changed
for her father Larry
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in a devastating and
painful way this year,
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when he lost his second wife
and Carroll's stepmom Betty
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to cancer.
[144]
- When she died it
was terrible, but then
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weeks and months afterward
that house meant nothing to me.
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- [Todd] Larry didn't
want to stay in his house,
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but he also couldn't
stay, at least not alone.
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Betty's care for him disguised
Larry's cognitive decline,
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especially with
short term memory.
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- He couldn't tell you
if he ate breakfast
[164]
that morning sometimes,
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and he couldn't tell ya if
he'd taken his medicine.
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- [Todd] Suddenly Carroll
and her siblings were thrown
[170]
into a world of uncertainty.
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- We had to figure out what
we needed in terms of care.
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- [Todd] The process
was overwhelming.
[178]
Carroll's sister
Louise is a doctor,
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and often took the lead
in determining care
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for their father.
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He even lived with
her for a short time.
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But eventually, Louise's
co-worker suggested
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getting a Care Coordinator.
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- We offer a free
consultation where we come
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and we meet face to
face if possible,
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with children, family
members, friends,
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whomever may be
concerned, and the person
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who's facing some challenges
around care needs.
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- [Todd] Cindy Holstetler
is with Care Weavers.
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It's a growing industry
where healthcare advocates
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find the best resources
for older adults
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in need of care.
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- What we do is we
draw up a plan of care
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and a recommendation
for services
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that we think we can provide,
[218]
that will benefit the
client and the family.
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- [Todd] Those families
like Carroll and Gus
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are part of a growing
trend in America called
[224]
the sandwich generation,
[226]
a middle-aged population
supporting aging parents,
[229]
while also caring for
their own children.
[231]
The Pew Research Center
reports nearly half of
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American adults in their
40's and 50's have a parent
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65 or older,
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and are either
raising a young child
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or financially
supporting a grown child.
[243]
Healthcare coordinators
work to remove
[245]
a lot of that
responsibility and stress,
[247]
by researching and asking
the tough questions.
[250]
Like in Larry's case, when
he needed a place to live.
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- So for me as a nurse, one
of the first things I wanna
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look at is what does
the quality of care
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look like at your facility?
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And how do I know that
you're doing a good job?
[262]
- [Todd] Care coordinators
may also accompany clients
[265]
to doctors appointments,
and provide companionship.
[268]
Carroll says it's been hard
to see her father decline.
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Her kids call him Coach because
he used to coach football.
[274]
But he's also a Vietnam veteran,
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an author of two books,
[278]
and a retired neural surgeon.
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The experience had
been so moving,
[282]
she shared her feelings
in a blog called
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Care Giving Goes Both
Ways For Older Parents.
[287]
And that hits close to
home for Carroll and Gus,
[290]
who had their children
later in life.
[292]
She wants others to learn
from her experience,
[294]
that aging parents must be
transparent with their children
[298]
about their health.
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- It really does
help for them to help
[301]
prepare their children,
[302]
and for them to have
their ducks in a row.
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Even to the smallest detail.
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- [Todd] Carroll is doing
the best that she can
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handling this delicate balance
between two generations.
[313]
- [Carroll] And he's
at the end in his mind,
[315]
but for me and my boys
its just the beginning
[318]
and we want it to last
as long as it can,
[321]
as comfortably as it can.
[322]
- [Todd] And while Larry
focuses on this next generation,
[325]
a healthcare coordinator
has removed a lot
[328]
of the stress for
Caroll and her siblings,
[330]
which has made it easier
for her to focus on
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being a mom, and a daughter.
[335]
For Carolina IMPACT, I'm
Todd Wallace reporting.
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