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Adam Ruins Everything - Alpha Males Do Not Exist | truTV - YouTube
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[1]
You make me laugh, Adam,
which is weird,
[2]
because you're
not really my type.
[4]
I usually go for alpha males.
[6]
That's not weird at all,
because in humans,
[8]
the very idea
of the "alpha male"
[10]
makes absolutely no sense.
[12]
What do you think
an alpha male is?
[14]
A confident, assertive leader
who knows what he wants
[18]
and always gets his way.
[19]
You know, somebody who says
things like "get swole"
[22]
and "Muscle Milk",
[23]
and "Hi, I'm Vin Diesel."
[25]
Oh, so like this guy.
[27]
What up, freaks?
Name's Alpha Adam.
[30]
I'm confident,
straight-up bangin',
[31]
and if you think women
don't love me,
[33]
I'm gonna debunk
the F out of that myth.
[36]
Attraction to alphas
is genetic.
[37]
Comes from nature.
[39]
I'm like the alpha wolf,
the leader of the pack.
[43]
Hell yeah.
I'm bleeding.
[45]
Well, all of that is wrong,
[47]
because alpha wolves
don't exist.
[49]
In fact, the term "alpha wolf"
was disavowed
[52]
by the very scientist
who popularized it.
[54]
The story starts in 1977.
[58]
While doing research
in a national park,
[60]
a wildlife biologist named
[60]
L. David Mech
[63]
seemed to observe that one wolf
emerged as the dominant male.
[66]
Ah-ha!
[67]
One wolf is the dominant leader,
the big wolf daddy!
[71]
That's the alpha wolf.
[73]
(Adam)
He wrote a book on the idea
[73]
and it became a media sensation.
[77]
Alpha wolves are real
and I love them,
[79]
and I bet humans
are like this, too.
[80]
(howling)
[83]
(Adam)
But 20 years later,
[84]
Mech tried to replicate
[84]
his research in the wild,
[87]
and when he did, he realized
he had made a terrible mistake.
[91]
Those aren't
dominant wolves.
[92]
Those are mommies and daddies.
[95]
Wolves don't have
an alpha hierarchy at all.
[97]
They're just parents.
[97]
I must alert the masses!
[100]
(Adam)
Mech renounced the term
[100]
"alpha wolf"
[102]
and spent years
[102]
trying to get his own book
[104]
taken off the shelves.
[106]
Stop reading this.
I fed you lies!
[108]
Alpha wolves aren't real!
[111]
(Adam)
But it was too late.
[113]
The term had taken on
a life of its own
[116]
and we haven't
stopped using it since.
[119]
So alpha wolves
are just parents.
[122]
I guess my therapist was right.
I really do have daddy issues.
[125]
Nah, nah, nah.
[126]
Maybe there's no alpha wolves,
but I know crap, too.
[129]
Alpha males are found in chimps,
our closest genetic relatives.
[132]
Weird, you are more aggressive
than me, but also wronger.
[136]
First of all, chimps aren't
our closest genetic relatives,
[139]
bonobos are.
[140]
And bonobos live in
a matriarchal society.
[143]
Excuse me.
You're in my way.
[149]
(animalistic growling)
[155]
You're basic.
[157]
Okay, whatever, those Bonobo
broads don't mean nothing.
[159]
In chimps, the alpha male
[159]
is the most dominant,
[162]
most aggressive bro,
[163]
and that means he has
first access to food,
[165]
resources, and of course, mates.
[167]
Hell yeah, baby.
All right.
[170]
Not exactly.
[171]
Contrary to popular belief,
in chimps,
[173]
the most aggressive male doesn't
always become the leader.
[176]
Smaller,
more mild-mannered males
[178]
can actually become dominant
[178]
by doing favors
[180]
and obsessively grooming
[180]
other chimps.
[183]
Excuse me, you seem to have
something in your hair.
[185]
Thanks.
Oh...
[187]
Hey, let me ask you:
[189]
What do you think I should do
with my life?
[191]
Wait, whoa!
[191]
What am I doing?
[192]
Get off of me!
[193]
I am the strongest,
most aggressive male,
[196]
so I am the alpha!
[197]
Now and forever!
[198]
No, you're not.
[199]
Unlike chimps,
human social hierarchies
[202]
are constantly in flux,
[204]
so you might be
the dominant male here,
[206]
but if you were playing
Dungeons & Dragons...
[208]
It's your turn.
Hello!
[211]
What do you want to do?
[212]
I attack
with my sword.
[214]
Your sword?
You are a magic user.
[217]
Do you see a sword on your
character sheet?
[217]
No.
[220]
Well, then you can't attack
with a sword, can you, freak?
[223]
(laughing)
[226]
Unlike animals,
no one is the same type
of person in all situations.
[230]
Human society is much more
complicated than that.
[234]
So to say that
this guy is an alpha male
[236]
or that guy's a beta male
[238]
makes straight up
zero sense.
[238]
Whatever, nerd!
[242]
The most aggressive male
gets the most aggressive tale.
[244]
It's true forever
'cause it rhymes.
[246]
Actually, research shows tht
agreeableness, kindness,
[248]
and generosity are among
the strongest indicators
[251]
of a long, happy relationship.
[252]
Aww, eat my feet.
Those are beta traits!
[255]
Huh, well, then I guess betas
are the alphas of love.
[259]
Enough lies.
I am the alpha!
[260]
I am your God!
[263]
Leave Beta Adam alone.
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