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"My Husband Prioritizes His Family Over His Wife" | Paul Friedman - YouTube

Channel: The Marriage Foundation

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"My husband prioritizes

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his family over me, his

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wife. What can I do about it?"

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My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The

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Marriage Foundation

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and I have seen this problem arise

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and I will tell you that it is extremely

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rare that it is anything other than what

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I'm going to share with you right now.

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There are some cultures where it is

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usual for a husband

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to not leave his family for his wife

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but bring his wife into his family.

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In some cultures, the wife literally

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moves in.

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I'm assuming that that's not the case

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for you

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but even in those situations, even when

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there is a little bit of rivalry

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between the husband's mother

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and the wife. It always boils down to the

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same thing.

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Now I'm also going to tell you at this

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point

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that you should subscribe to this

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channel and learn a lot about marriage

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because that's really what's going on

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here.

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We don't learn about marriage.

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We don't learn about how to please our

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husbands.

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Husbands don't learn how to please their

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wives

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and so there's a very high divorce rate

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in the western world,

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and there would be a really high one in

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the eastern world

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if it were less frowned upon.

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But this particular issue is one that

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you can do

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something about. You see when a husband

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gets married,

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he has a subconscious expectation

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which is not unrealistic, I might add,

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that his wife will give him something

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that he only can get from a woman

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which is unconditional love. Men are

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biologically

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not set up to experience unconditional

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love

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easily. If they want to, it takes a lot

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of work on their part because they're

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overriding

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biological dictates to shut that part of

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themselves

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off. So it was a

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golden opportunity for you

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when his mother and by extension, his

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father

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handed the baton over to you, his wife

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to show your husband that your heart

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can be open not only for him

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but for the whole family. Unfortunately,

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the training for women

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due to this mythological woman's

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liberation movement.

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And I say mythological because true

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liberation

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is not gender-based.

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True liberation means that we become

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realized that we are souls and you are a

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soul.

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So your soul think of it as your heart

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needs to open up to your husband

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and shown to him in every conceivable

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way and never undermined

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because men are very ego-based. They're

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very sensitive.

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So if you say something that's going to

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hurt his feelings

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you might as well hit him with a

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two-by-four.

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So in short, number one

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learn more about marriage so you

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understand it so you just don't do what

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I tell you to do

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but you have an understanding of what to

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for good practical reasons.

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So, what are good practical goals in

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marriage?

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There's only two. Number one

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you want to be happier every day of your

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life.

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You want your husband to be happier

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every day

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of his life even more so.

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You get married to share your love to

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that degree.

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Number two, you want to experience

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unconditional love

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not just occasionally but you want to be

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swimming in it the whole time you're

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married.

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Both of these are achievable in every

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single marriage

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when you understand how.

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Right now, your husband has not

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discovered

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that you are giving him unconditional

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love.

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He's not feeling it and he can't

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articulate it.

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He doesn't know it. I know it

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and now you know it. Don't talk to him

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about it

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it's meaningless instead learn to

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express

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it. If watching these videos isn't enough,

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get one of my books but you can

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certainly

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turn things around. He's prioritizing his

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family

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because you're not prioritizing him.

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Want to hear it in a nutshell? That's

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what it is.

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Stop complaining, criticizing, putting him

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down

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all of these things just pull away from

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the foundation of your marriage which is

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supposed to be love. Isn't it? Doesn't

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that make sense?

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And instead, make every action of yours,

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every thought, every verbalization

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and every physical action filled with

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love

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and watch what happens. Do it as an

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experiment see what happens.

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It's not going to shift overnight

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but if you do this and you get good at

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this

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it will shift -- that's an absolute

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certainty.

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Okay. I hope this was helpful for you.

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&quot;My Husband Prioritizes His Family Over His Wife&quot; | Paul Friedman - YouTube

"My Husband Prioritizes His Family Over His Wife" | Paul Friedman - YouTube